I’m having this weird feeling on my chest. I mean, my heart beat feels irregular. It doesn’t seem to be in rhythm. You see, my point is that I don’t like to have a crush on anyone(don’t take that as a negative one).
I don’t fall in love for someone easily. I want to make sure if they’re meant for me. I don’t find them, I just let the cupid look for that “one” person to come to my life.
This guy that I’m going to talk about is someone who somehow caught my eye.
He’s normal, yes. He’s business-minded, he has a nice smile(No kidding! It attracts me), he’s very friendly, open-minded, he loves to eat(Yes, ramen Haha), he has pretty eyes, he’s faithful, respectful, he’s sweet and sincere, he’s thoughtful, and blahh. He’s got almost everything for ladies to like him.
The thing is I’m controlling these feelings of mine. I don’t want to make the first move since I’m reserved and somewhat conservative. There are times that I’m also insensitive towards others feelings. I can’t blame them for blaming me that I usually ignore them :( But, please don’t get me wrong. I just don’t want to fall to the wrong person ‘cause I don’t want to get hurt. Sounds funny and pathetic, right? I know it’s part of falling in love or whatever you call that. I also don’t like having a crush on someone who has a girlfriend. Ain’t that type of person.
When I first saw him, he seems to be just an ordinary person. A lot of people are saying that he is from a family of rich people, sweet and spontaneous lover and of course, intelligent. He caught my attention because of those things they’ve told me. Those are the qualities I like from my ideal man. That includes those things I’ve mentioned above about him. Almost perfect!
Last Wednesday(NDT), I saw him. He waved at me and I just smiled back. I felt freakin weird. I actually avoided his glances to me whenever something funny happens during the meeting. I don’t want him to notice that I’m admiring him. I just wanted to watch him from afar where he wouldn’t be able to see me. I prefer him to be talking with other people. But, there came a time that he sat beside me when I was alone doing some call invites, asking me how I was, how was my day, how was school, what I’m doing and alike. I felt normal. Yea, not weird. I somehow managed to control those feelings. Yay! Also, I prefer to focus on my studies first before those things. I’m still young and looking forward on what my future awaits me.
Maybe for now, he’s going to serve as my inspiration to become a successful person like him who get to own a company, and help others to become successful as well.
A friendship with him will serve much better than having a thing more than that. And I don’t want that thing to happen. Mutual understanding will do. It won’t hurt, I guess.
There will come a time that love will be tailing me someday. It may not be today, tomorrow or the next day, but, there’s a part of me saying that I want him to be mine someday. Ugh, kiddy fantasies -_- Oh well, don’t mind that.